Dedicated To Girls

  • Not every girl wants to get married by 23. So before you ASSUME she’s of marriageable age, ask her what her views on marriage are. One hint might save you the drama-just because she does not want to get married now does not mean she never will. She has other plans for herself right now, let her live a little.
  • Just because a girl wishes to do her PhD after Masters does not mean she doesn’t want to settle down in life. Give her a break, and respect the fact that she has the confidence to take that up, cause yeah, PhD is no joke. There will come a point when she would happily devote herself to her family, and balance it out with her professional life. Her degrees, or lack of them, won’t make any difference. Let her study while she wants to, okay?
  • Just because she is 27 and unmarried does not mean she’s been rejected by many men. Maybe, being single is a choice she has made.
  • Having a boyfriend does not make her characterless.
  • Just because she has recently gone through a break up doesn’t mean she is vulnerable and available.
  • Just because most of her friends are boys, does not mean she is an alcoholic.
  • Just because she wore a short skirt to a party does not mean she dresses up that way everyday.
  • Just because she is ambitious doesn’t mean she isn’t a family person.
  • Just because she does not discuss her plans does not mean she’s clueless about life. Give her a chance, alright?
  • Just because she is outspoken doesn’t mean she is a rebel.
  • Just because she comes home late from work does not mean she is sleeping around with her colleagues.
  • After a hectic week, give her some time to relax over the weekend. Don’t make that one weekend party make her look like she’s a frivolous party-girl without a job.

Yes we cry, we’re emotional, we take things personally and sometimes over-react to situations. This does not give anyone the right to judge us the wrong way. Times are changing. Don’t confide her within those boundaries, no matter how unorthodox you are. There are some who might be fighting this losing battle, yet compromising on their decisions and plans just to please society.

Get Comfortable In Your Skin

I lived in a little town called Wenatchee in Washington State for about a year and four months. There weren’t a lot of black people in the town. During my first three months, I didn’t jump at the idea of leaving the comfort of my home because I got starred at a lot. Sometimes people would asked why I was so dark skinned. I got fed up and decided to stay indoors for a while. I contemplated toning my skin color to make it a shade brighter. But then i thought to myself, “Why do I have to do that just so they could accept me?”. I have a beautiful skin that glows when sunlight reflects onto it. I’m healthy and beautiful. I don’t have to change my looks to please others.

There are women out there who not only detest how they look, they feel that they can only be beautiful if they looked a certain way. Some base their beauty on looks, skin complexion and even body weight. But I can tell you this, if you want to be accepted in and around the community, you need to first accept who you are.

I applaud women who know who they are and love who they are. Women who don’t need the appraisal of other people to feel beautiful but themselves.

The Face Behind the Mask

Why are women concerned with how the world sees them? They put on layers upon layers of makeup to hide their natural beauty. Many women believe that they need the contour fake lashes to make them beautiful. But why must we subject ourselves to this? Why do we let society rule our lives? Must i be judged for not wanting to put makeup on?

They say that my eyebrows must be on “fleek“. Who even came up with the word? There was even the “kylie lip” moment where every girl would put their lips into a little rounded object to get the kylie lip effect. Who ever said that i must look a certain way to be BEAUTIFUL? Do i really need to contour my face to get the smaller nose look and rosy cheeks?

We women are beautiful just the way we are. I understand that most use makeup to boost their self confidence but how do you expect people to love you, if you don’t love yourself naturally? Why hide behind the mask?